Returning to Malawi, and the questions it brings.

From my last post, most of you will see that I was very conflicted with my time at home. Unfortunately that feeling did not disappear when I returned to Malawi. I think this comes from moving constantly, never being in the same place for more that a year and constantly feeling "unsettled". For the past 3 years, I have spent 7 months in Ireland, one year in Australia, one year in Malawi, 3 months in South America and 1 month in Malaysia and Singapore, and so the question begins, "Where do I belong?"

I arrived back in Mzuzu and felt really out of sorts. I felt like I had missed out on lots of fun and now was on the periphery of the group (totally in my head). It got me to thinking about belonging somewhere, feeling like you have somewhere, somewhere surrounded by friends, where you can call someone and just randomly meet, somewhere where you can have a life. To me that place, for the longest of time, was Dublin. It's where most of my friends live, somewhere I can catch up with someone over a quiet drink on a Tuesday night, or go out for dinner with a group of girls for a mid week early bird special that involves wine and way too much chatting. But, after leaving Dublin 3 years ago, where is that place for me now?

Home in Galway has not been that place for a long time. I go there to visit family, and as I stated in my previous post, get bored very easily. I no longer have good friends there, I feel like I don't belong in the community, heck people don't even know I exist. The amount of times over the 4 weeks I was home that I heard "I didn't know you had an older child" was beyond belief. While this place, and more especially the village of "Happy Valley", will always be home, it is not somewhere I feel comfortable, somewhere I feel like I can spend a few weeks without being bored and wanting to get away, not somewhere I want to spend my younger years. (Sorry Mam).

And then I come back to Malawi and the problem intensifies. Here I have good friends, a decent social life and people who mean a lot to me here but cannot see myself here long term. I don't know whether it's the job I'm in, the fact that my tolerance (or more specifically intolerance) for laziness causes my blood pressure to sky rocket or the fact that it is so far from my friends in Ireland who know me. Luckily, in my evening of doubt, my evening of me lying in bed wondering what on earth I am doing with my life, I got a lovely text from the amazing Alice telling me how glad she was I was back and giving me a little pep talk via our free text messages.

Right now, I feel settled back in Malawi. I've eaten at A1 numerous times and had Jay (the owner) hug me and say "Welcome back", I've been to Nkhata Bay and had a cold green on Chikale beach and some Gold Label with Alice, I've cooked chilli for 13 friends and chicken pot pie for 5, I'm planning to visit Vwaza Marsh National Park soon and I have a smile on my face again. Who knows where my life will take me, or even, where I want to go next but, for now, Malawi is where I am and I'm happy to be here.

A trip home (and the reflections that go with it)

I sit here, in bed, on my last night in Ireland. Tomorrow I fly to London for 3 days and then back to Malawi. I had been so looking forward to the trip home, a chance to catch up with people, do exciting things and generally have fun. I had grand visions of day trips, lots of nights out and multiple dinners with friends. Unfortunately the reality was not quite what I expected.

In the past 3 years I've spent a total of 7 months in Ireland and as a result you become more separate from your friends. It's difficult not to. At this point we are at different points in our lives. A lot of my friends are getting engaged, living with their boyfriends and girlfriends and buying property. While I am bumming around the world, being a bit of a waster and generally avoiding growing up. As a result all my friends have other priorities and I can't, and didn't, expect them to drop everything to hang out with me. I cannot expect people who work and have their own lives to slot me in whenever I want. It was a realisation that was difficult to take, difficult to stomach. Now this is not to say that I didn't see my friends, I did, just not as much as I had imagined I would.

Living in the countryside with minimal public transport and a prohibitively high insurance quote for 4 weeks cover resulted in me being at the mercy of the taxi driver that is Christina Lawless. It also meant I couldn't just get up and take off to clear my head/ see places I wanted to visit. I was bored, I sat around the house a lot and quite frankly that is not what I wanted to be doing while I was home. Yes I went to the beach twice, yes I spent a day in Westport and yes I was in Cork for two days but over the course of 4 weeks I was bored.

With the lovely weather we got, I spent a lot of time contemplating this. And so my question is, when you travel a lot and/or move countries a lot, is it reasonable to expect that things will stay the same between friends? Can you stay as close to people when you are at completely different points in life? Maybe in the future, I need to plan my trips home better, do day trips, stay for a shorter period. Who knows. Now, I am looking forward to getting back into routine and actually doing something with my days.

A moment of reflection

So as I sat at the wonderful Butterfly Space, receiving my first massage in Malawi, I took a moment to think about how lucky I am and all the things I am grateful for. Here I was sitting half way around the world from where I grew up, sitting next to a good friend Alice, cool drink in hand and watching the sun glistening on the lake.

So what am I grateful for?
- I'm grateful for my parents. They have given me every opportunity in life, supported me through college and held their tongues when I went off gallivanting around the world.
-My siblings. They can always bring me back down to earth with a bang but I know that we would all do anything for each other (so long as we don't ask Stephen too early in the morning)
- My extended family, aunts, uncles and cousins. They are always available for a laugh and a copious amounts of tea.
-My neighbours who are like family and who I know will welcome me home as such.
-I'm grateful that I grew up in a country where I was able to go to university without putting myself into debt, a country with a rich cultural heritage, a country that I will always call home.
-My friends. Wherever in the world I end up, there are friends who I feel like I'm never far from. Having had a friend utterly betray me, lie about me and make me regret ever knowing her, it has made me appreciate my true friends all the more.
-The opportunities I have been given. I have been lucky enough to travel the world and work with some amazing people. I've met people travelling and working who will be friends for life, people who I will make every effort cross oceans to meet again. Memories of sun rises over Machu Piccu, sunsets over Lake Malawi, leaping out of a plane and diving under the sea, climbing to the roof of Africa and spotting Simba on safari.

And lastly, I am grateful that I am in this beautiful country, with some amazing people, and while it's not always massages by the lake, those moments are memories I will forever treasure.

Quote for the day: "We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures"- Thorton Wilder

Another year, sure why not?

So, for quite a while I had been contemplating whether to renew my contract for another year or not. If I'm to be honest, I've been thinking about this since last October but, as most of you know, I am the worst decision maker in the world. I'm indecisive to the point that I will ignore anything that involves the repercussions of said decision and hope that someone decides for me! I'm afraid that I will change my mine, I'm afraid that circumstances will change, I'm afraid that decision I make will change the path of the rest of my life. (Me? Dramatic? Never!) As such, even if I have made a decision, I keep it to myself in case things fall apart, or I change my mind (as has been known to happen) and as such I spend a lot of time thinking of the "What ifs".

At the same time there were things that were stopping me finally making my decision. Certain aspects of working here are unbelievably frustrating. We are the only all-female department. Add to that that we are all expats and quite young and it can be very difficult to get people to take us seriously. Then you have our bosses in South Africa who only seem to contact us when they have a problem with something we are doing (even when we ask for help). And then you add the whole being in Africa thing. I miss my friends and family, I miss cheese and wine and chats over coffee.

Where to?

And then certain things cross my mind. There are so many countries in the world I want to visit. I want to spend time travelling Asia, I want to go back and explore Argentina in depth, I want to visit New Zealand and I want to stand in front of Victoria falls. I want to visit Paris, Amsterdam, Venice, Rome and Munich. I want to watch the ball drop in Times Square for New Years and I want to see the Great Wall of China. I want to live in London and in Asia somewhere. The only problem is I have these grand plans but not the time to do everything.

 I know I am only 26 but at the back of my mind is that I want to get married at some point. How am I supposed to meet the love of my life if I'm moving around the world constantly. I have spoken to friends about this and "society" means we should settle down, get a permanent, sensible job, start a pension and get married. And obviously I want that (and in the case of the pension, NEED that) but there are so many other things that I want to do and see before I stay in one place. This was something that was at the back of my mind while I was debating what to do with my life! (Again, dramatic much).

After many evenings thinking of my options and making pros and cons lists, I kept coming back to one thing, I like my life here. I really like teaching, I have a good group of friends here and I get to spend at least half of my weekends at the lake. Sometimes life can be isolating and there is no doubt that, as a mzungu, you can't do as much as sneeze without the whole of Mzuzu knowing but at the end of the day, I'm settled here. As a very wise friend said to me "Those annoying things, can they be ignored easily?" and when I thought about it, they could and I concentrated on the positives.

I'm very lucky to have an unbelievably supportive family who don't think I'm (TOO) crazy and who now think nothing of me popping home and saying "I'm moving to Africa" or "I'm not coming home for another year" and for that I am grateful. I have fantastic friends scattered all around the world who I can keep in contact with through the wonders of facebook and the world is getting smaller everyday.

So all that's left to say is, who's coming to visit????

Quote for the day: "We are the choices we make, and we are the chances we take, no one else. We make our future with our actions, good or bad is all in our hands"- Unknown

Climbing to the roof of Africa

From the 1st of February I took a 3 week holiday and went to Tanzania to climb Kilimanjaro, go on safari and gorge on seafood on Zanzibar.

I've been asked why I decided to climb Kilimanjaro. My answer is generally "why not?" Africa is a continent that pushes you out of your comfort zone, a continent where you can challenge yourself, swim with great white sharks, bungee jump at Victoria Falls, white water raft on the Nile, stand 5 feet from mountain gorillas and climb the highest non-technical climb in the world. So after 7 months of working hard I decided to cross some items off my bucket list.

My first view of Kili

 Travelling independently in Africa is not the easiest of tasks, local transport is what you use and let me be honest, the buses have definitely seen better days.And so when I was getting on an 18 hour bus from Mbeya (near the Malawian border) to Moshi (in the  north of Tanzania), I knew at the very least it would take 20 hours, I knew my ass would be numb for most of the time and I knew I would have to carefully watch my water intake so as not to be caught short on a bus with no toilet. After an mini argument with the bus conductor (he wanted me to pay for my baggage), the bus left Mbeya at 5:40am! I finally arrive in Moshi at 10:30 pm and find that the hotel I wanted to stay in was full. So across the road I pop to Kilimanjaro Backpackers where I had to wake up a Maasai man to let me in!

Next morning I venture into Moshi town in the hope of organising a climb to Kilimanjaro. I spent the day traipsing around before deciding to climb with Kili climbers (a combination of free gear rental (normally runs to about $100) and them being one of the cheapest swung it for me). And so off I venture to Haria Hotel for a Kili (beer) and to watch the sunset over the mountain I would attempt to climb! So my preparation for my climb was a beer and an Indian dinner the night before.

Home for 5 nights!

And so, off I trot the next morning to meet the people who would be accompanying me on the most physically demanding thing I will ever likely attempt! So Chris, Yves, Raj and I started out to trek the Macheme Route to Uhuru peak, 5 days up, one day down. After a stop to collect all the gear we arrived at the Macheme gate where we had lunch while we waited for the guides to sort out our registration. Shortly after 2pm we set out.

Ready for off!

 Today was the longest day (distance wise), we covered 11km and rose 4,000ft in altitude but it was really enjoyable. We were walking through rain forest and spotted monkeys en route. The cover from the overhead canopy was a welcome break from the heat but as we rose in altitude you could feel the subtle change in temperature. As we arrived at our first camp, Macheme camp, the sun was setting and it was definitely time to don a jacket. Dinner, a briefing on the following day and some tea to warm the bones, we all fell into our tents to rest for the following day.

Sunset from Macheme Camp

Day two began at 8:00 when we started off from camp and started climbing. We exited the rainforest area pretty soon after setting off and entered the moorland area. Much colder, scrambling over rocks and wandering through clouds. I genuinely felt like we were the only people around as we left later than other groups to avoid the crowds. As the clouds rolled in and you could only see a few feet in front of you, I felt like I was an explorer discovering new territory with my hiking poles and my backpack.  After being told that we were "30 mins" from camp at least 4 times over the space of 2 hours we arrived, tired, cold and looking forward to some hot soup for lunch! Later that afternoon we went for an acclimatization walk. Basically a half an hour up high and then back down- the mantra for avoiding altitude sickness being climb high, sleep low. Over the course of the day we climbed another 1000m and a total of 9km over 4 hours.

View of the Peak from Shira camp

Ya, I'll just carry my shit on my head. 

Day three we had a lie in. We didn't leave until 8:30. At this point the peak was getting closer but still bloodyfar away! We entered the "alpine desert" area. The whole area looked like a space scene, very little olants but lots of rocks, BIG ones that you have to dodge. It was a gradual incline until the Macheme route joined with the Lemosho route to ascend towards the Lava Tower at 4,800m. It was en route to Lava Tower that the Irish climber was killed when struck by lightening (R.I.P). The ascent to Lava Tower was tiring and difficult. At this point the lack of oxygen was really taking effect and with every breath I constantly had to remind myself to slow down my breathing and take deep breaths. Combine this with a constant up hill climb and you can imagine how happy I was to make it to Lava Tower. It meant lunch and a rest! After lunch and a pee break(!) we set off again, downhill this time. As we descended more, we saw more vegetation including the senecio kilimanjari, a plant (kinda looks like a non spikey, very tall cactus) that is only found on Kilimanjaro. After 2 hours descending we arrived at the Barranco camp which is a whole 140m higher than where we had slept the previous night! A bit disheartening but as the guide explained, the ascent to Lava Tower was important to avoid altitude sickness. From the Barranco hut, the peak looked just a few short walks away. It felt like you could reach out and touch it. We also got our first glimpse of Barranco Wall, the infamous scramble up a pretty much vertical rock face.

Climbing up Barranco Wall

And so day 4 began with this scramble up. It was quite fun. Felt like proper rock climbing. At this point I developed a WHOLE new level of respect for the porters. They scramble up this wall with 20kg ON THEIR HEADS!  I mean really! Who does that. And they still managed to pass me by! After a brief rest at the top, we started to descend again. Up and down and up and down for about 2 hours until we got to the last fresh water source and started to ascend to our lunch at Karanga camp. At this point I would have eaten my own hand. After a lunch of chicken and chips and soup we set off to ascend the last 1,000m to base camp (Baru) at nearly 4,700m. This part of the climb was eerie. It was like a moonscape, ascending through dense fog for about an hour before a nice break of about 1km of flat and ascending once again to camp. At this point I just wanted to collapse into my tent and sleep. Dinner and bed asap for the midnight start.

Sunrise from (nearly) Stella Point

Up at midnight and after a snack of biscuits and slamming a cup of coffee, we trundled off into the pitch black. It was so surreal to see a line of head torches going up the side of the mountain. Freezing cold, finding it hard to take deep breaths and climbing, climbing constantly made for frequent breaks and a very cranky Fiona. As the sun started to come up we were nearly at Stella Point but we couldn't power on the last 200m to get there for sunrise. At this point I was really considering if I could make it all the way to Uhuru peak, I just could not keep walking for more than a minute without a break and while my mind just wanted to push on, my body was rejecting that idea! Making it to Stella point was an achievement at this stage and I'm not going to lie, I considered giving up. However Good Luck and Oscar convinced me otherwise and I'm so grateful for that.
 From Stella Point to Uhuru Peak is relatively flat but any little incline caused me to lose my breath, my body was screaming out for a reprise and I was so frustrated that things were so difficult. There were tears at times. The really nice thing is people on their descent say words of encouragement as they pass you "Not far now", "It'll be worth it when you get there" and with Oscar encouraging me every step of the way I eventually made it to the roof of Africa at 8:20am! The sense of achievement was phenomenal  I doubted myself so much in the previous 2 hours that to make it to the peak was overwhelming. Looking around at the glaciers and ice sheets it's hard to believe that you are in Africa, a mere 200 miles from the equator. After a short stay at the top we made our way back to Stella point to descend back to base camp for a nap and lunch before moving on down the mountain again. Unfortunately, as we ascended I got ill and had a pretty bad last day on the mountain but nothing could over shadow the sense of accomplishment.

This was without a doubt the most physically and mentally demanding thing I have ever done and am possibly ever likely to do. Without encouragement I would have turned back, my body was not doing what my mind wanted it to do but I took it one step at a time (sometimes literally one step, break, another step, break) and made it!

Making it back to Moshi and having a long over due shower was a little slice of heaven. I met up with Sara for a beer (which I promptly threw up, I'm telling you a bug) and went back to my hotel watched a movie and feel asleep at 8:30!

 Quote for the day: "Never set limits, go after your dreams, don't be afraid to push boundaries. And laugh a lot, it's good for you." Paula Radcliffe

Apologies

I have been neglecting my blog of late and for that I apologise! However I'm going to say not many people noticed.

Why did I disappear off the blogosphere, one might ask if one was bothered. Well to be honest I have no answer. I have LOADS to write about, the students are not back on campus yet, so I'm not even teaching and my evenings have been pretty free. So, the only logical conclusion is that I am ridiculously lazy. For that I apologise profusely.

So what have I been up to? Well, I took a 3 week holiday to Tanzania during which I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, spent 4 days on safari and lounged in the turquoise waters of the Indian Ocean off the coast of Zanzibar.  (There will be blog posts to follow)

In work, we've been trying to get the pesky admin stuff done, including very annoyingly, trying to sort out my temporary employment permit (which I initially applied for 7 months ago) which has been lost by Immigration and also we have been gearing up to open our Academic Vision Centre, the first of it's kind in Africa. So despite the students not being around, we are being kept busy.

I have had time to have fun with good friends. I'm writing this after a mammoth weekend with my Mzuzu family watching movies, drinking beer and generally living in each others pockets for 3 days. I look at these times and remember how lucky I am.

However I do promise to get at least 2 blog posts about my Tanzania adventures up this week (going to be tough).

Quote for the day: "Get busy living, or get busy dying" Stephen King

Christmas in Malawi

So, is there snow in Africa this wintertime? What do people eat? Do they celebrate Christmas at all? For all these answers and more, continue reading*
*may or may not all be answered

So I decided to spend Christmas in Malawi. Many of you may have heard of my other possibilites which were Zanzibar/ Zambia but in the end I decided that since I couldn't leave Mzuzu until the 22nd of Dec going anywhere too far would result in undue stress in trying to arrive before Christmas Eve.


And so after postponing my departure from Mzuzu due to a Carlsberg induced decision until Sun the 23rd, I strapped on my backpack and Sanchia and I left on the Axa bus at 7am for Lilongwe. Now for those of you unfamiliar with Malawi, Lilongwe is the capital, appromiately 4 1/2 hours drive from Mzuzu. Once we arrived in Lilongwe we had a quick lunch before we parted ways- Sanchia to spend a night before flying home for Christmas, me to walk to the local bus station and catch a minibus to Monkey Bay. After about another 4 hours on a crowded minibus (transportation in Malawi is a whole other blog post), stopping so people can buy onions and mangoes, I arrived in Monkey Bay sweaty and craving a cold beer and a shower. Here I met up with Kat (who came armed with a cold, open beer) and we went to Mufasa's Monkey Bay. It's a "rustic" camp so no electricity and when I arrived the water had run out so thoughts of a shower were put to the back of my mind and setting up my tent became the priority before it got dark. 10mins and a beer later the tent was up but it turns out it had a bit of a battering in a previous life and now resembled a teepee! Kat and I gave up and headed to the bar to finish a box of wine! Next morning due to my tent resembling a sauna I was up at 5am! I lay on a hammock (I do love a hammock) and watched as baboons stole food from the kitchen. If only I hadn't left my camera in the tent.

The following day we all decided to go to Cape Maclear. Cape Mac is the southern version of Nkhata Bay. A backpacker's paradise with a long beach dotted with lodges and beach bars. Getting to Cape Mac can be a bit of an issue as no mini buses go there. Your options are a share taxi from Monkey Bay, a matola or a motorbike taxi. As Tennus, the owner of Mufasa's, and a few of us were going to Cape Mac we got a matola to come pick us, 10 crates, 5 tents and approx 15 people up. This did not stop the driver trying to pile more people into this rickty old pick up. So much so that it struggled to make it up the hills and we had to pile out!

Breakfast on Christmas day

Once we got set up and tents erected, to the bar. It was Christmas Eve after all. Now having spent a previous Christmas in Sydney, I have experienced hot weather at this time of year. This does not mean I will ever get used to it. To me Christmas is fires, wooly jumpers, scarfs, hot whiskeys, Baileys coffees, chats with the neighbors and a big roast dinner. This year I spent Christmas Eve barefoot at a beach bar,drinking cold beers and laughing with the local beach boys. It was also the first year I did not go to Mass at Christmas. Christmas morning broke and we celebrated with a full English and some Buck's fizz. Start as we mean to go on. Later that day we took a boat trip to a point in Lake Malawi National Park called Otter's point. It is basically a big area of rocks and deep water, cue lots of rock jumping. We had beers, music and snacks. A great afternoon. Christmas dinner was a tad different to what I've had before: Pizza, fish and chips and a roast pork dinner. Don't worry, not all for me. Kat, Justin and I shared.

Mufasa's beach bar.

Christmas dinner

Another day at Cape Mac and one final day at Monkey Bay before beginning my long journey north for New Year's.











Getting from Monkey Bay to Lilongwe was a chore. For future reference, the minibuses leave Monkey Bay for Lilongwe before 7am, so, if like me, you show up at 10:30am, it's a tad more difficult. The journey involved a private taxi, a matola and a minibus. Don't ask!

When I arrived at Mufasa in Lilongwe, craving a shower and a cold beer, I was greeted with a power outage. I nearly cried. However, the lovely receptionist informed me that there was still water and I had the nicest shower I've had since I got to Malawi! Then the next day after a bit of an issue with a possibile non availability of space on the bus, I made it back to Mzuzu and was never as happy to see my little house!

And so to answer the questions:
-There was no snow in Africa this Christmas time (well in Malawi at least)
-As Malawi is a mainly Christian country, Christmas is a big deal here. However, as the country is so poor, Christmas is not about presents and fancy dinners. According to any Malawian's I spoke to, it's about spending time with your family and being thankful for what you have. Sometimes we forget about that in the commercial aspect of Christmas and it was refreshing to be reminded of it.
-What do people eat? Why the same as always, nsima. Walking down the street in Cape Maclear, it seems that the dinner on Christmas is a community thing. Pots of food being cooked and lots of families sharing the food.

Quote for the season: "Christmas....... is not an external event at all, but a piece of one's home that one carries in one's heart." Freya Stark.